The Apocalypse comes from Facebook

Motto:

“We are a generation. Do not judge us. Think about it!”

 

Laurenţiu Budău

The Apocalypse comes from Facebook

Characters :

 Scooby (18 years old)

Cocuţa (16 years old)

Pitbull (15 years old)

 Scooby’s Mother (55 years old)

Dark Angel ’57 (old enough for anybody, even for himself)

The voice of a woman from the next room(the age of a voice from the next room)

Pitbull from Facebook

The Megaphone

Andreea Esca

                                                                                                                                                                                      -2013-

Scene 1

The Angels

A huge room, filled with white PC monitors on which angels with wings type phrenetically. From time to time, at irregular periods of time, they faint, one after another  pulling reminiscent sounds of asphyxiation, but almost instantly, appear the vigilant  volunteer angels who clear the area and place immediately, others on the spare chairs, fresh substitutes who take the relay along the way. In one corner, on a small improvised podium,a trio formed out of a quartet of five soloists without wings try to animate the dull atmosphere with refined Sicilian opera music.

Scene 2

Scooby.

Pitbull: Stooop! Let me puff as well, Scooby! Did u think I wasn’t counting? I counted, so you know… You already took four long puffs. Sharp.

Scooby: Wtf did u say, Pitbull?

Pitbull: For u to leave me at least one puff, u sweet Scrooge. We all paid for it. Right?

Scooby: Not this, before this...

Pitbull: “Stooop!” That’s wht I said.Tht is everything I said.

Scooby: Squeeze ur brain again… What did u say, u lil Pitbull, about the Romanian teacher?!

Pitbull: About that woman, who wiggles her ass and has long legs, the new one, who has hooked up with the bald guy, the executive manager? What did I say?I said that...

Scooby: Zipp it! No impressions! Don’t say anything which is not verified, u, “left handed”, or I will break ur horse teeth with this cheap keyboard. She hasn’t hooked up with any executive manager, she hasn’t hooked up with anybody. Is that clear? I checked and rechecked. If u say another stupid word about her, I will put ur head in the loo immediately and flush until I will clean ur brain of dirt, of impressions. U Dada follower!

Pitbull: Don’t swear at me, u hear that? Don’t swear at me!

Cocuţa: Stop it, both of u, stop it! Wht is going on? Are the hormones running wild inside of u? U, Scooby, u really are wicked. Have u gone mad?! Wht’s ur problem with the man? What got into u so suddenly?! Stop it, u, stop it, leave him alone! Why do u light up like a firefly? He just said so, without being sure. He offered an uncertainty, not a certainty... Did u become stupid? Do u not get jokes anymore? If u want, so that u know, we will split up the gang immediately. Because I do not like this sort of cheap things… And u, on which side, are u? On Ana-Banana’s? On that skinny lassie’s side who talks from the tip of her lips and writes down marks with her left hand? On the purblind’s, on the precious one’s side who did not let u pass the class, u who have been an Olympic student for three years in a row? I do not want to hear another word bro, about ur farter old ladies, about this vain Virginia of urs!

Scooby: Remember this! She did not let me pass the class because, I was too dear to her, losers, let this be clear to you! Cheap theatre! What did u not understand? What did u think?

Pause.

Scooby (warm blooded): As soon as I finish highschool, I will marry Lorena. We already checked our blood groups. They are perfectly compatible. End of story. With papers, y’all, not anyway! With papers! We will have the honey moon in the Danube Delta, on a green floating island, in a tent... That is where u will see the real Olympic act, that is where we will all see who is the teacher and who is the top pupil…

Cocuţa: Being among fishing poles, mosquitoes and ticks. I’m gonna puke. Just leave it, leave it! Thanx for enlightening us. When u r going to get another idea like this one, give me a hint. A small hint.

Pitbull: Oi’, Scooby, u are not stupid in vain. Why do you want to tie the knot with “Mrs.” Lorena if u are ok like this?! Give me a break! If u still want to go in the swinging boats, take the booby Ramona from class B, take Alina from class C, take the Radu twins from class F, take one by one the entire boarding school, because the cows with glittery heels are already mad about u, the communal bull with laurels... (coming back) And the poor girl, does she know this, did she find out anything about this impossible combination?

Scooby: She will find out, fat guy, at the right time. Do u want to get her out from teaching? I am certain that she loves me as well, but her position does not let her reveal it. Yes, everything happens at the right time. Believe me, I know more about women than all of u together. If u saw her how she starts tremblening as if she has the Parkinson disease whenever she sends me to the blackboard… and lately she does that a lot, I stand more at the blackboard than she does when she is teaching… This is all I have to say to you: do not mess with my woman because next time I will break your face, do u understand? (a timid knock at the door, the ones from the room double back in a sec)

Scooby’s Mother (stands in the opening of the door): Can I come in, children?

Pitbull and Cocuţa: Hello, Miss, Scooby’s Mother!

Scooby’s Mother: Why did you leave the window open, dear? The whole smoke from downstairs gets inside here. Are you not cold?

Scooby: Our dear synapses get heated up, Mrs. Georgescu. Leave it like this, if u don’t want me to turn bad!

Scooby’s Mother: But...

Scooby (tough): Come in once and for all, woman! I told you,I pointed out to u not to bother us until we have finished to solve this problem.You are messing wif our calculations.

Scooby’s Mother: Sorry, Martian. I will leave immediately.I brought you some plum jam and a glass of cold water. I will bring the handker...

Scooby: Put them on the desk. Get out!

Pitbull and Cocuţa: Goodbye, miss, Scooby’s Mother!

Scooby’s Mother: Excuse me. Eat that. I am going to bring and...

Scooby: That is enough. Maybe u have stuff to do and I’m keeping u from it... If u keep moving around u will make us lose, all our ideas, especially the precious ones.Where do u want us to do our homework, at the ice skating rink? Tomorrow we have thesis, do u understand?

Scooby’s Mother: Sorry. (she gets out immediately)

Pitbull: Do u think she figured out anything?

Scooby: Mrs. Georgescu? Come on, she knows nothing about smoke, other things are her sins... Did u not see the peasants from the ground floor who singed the two hundred kilograms pig in the yard of the block of flats with an old synthetic tire? That’s the real smoke, not Indian poetry like here. They do it on purpose, goiters, because they also have a villa at the countryside very close to the town, because they want to see all their neighbours how they choke at the windows with their own saliva…

Cocuţa (nostalgic): Do not say another word, because I think instantly of Pork rind, Pork fest, pickles and steamy polenta… When I was lil, my parents used to put me to ride the stabbed pig which was still steamy and they gave me to eat the fresh cleaned tail with the bayonet and which was also rolled in salt.

Pitbull:Shut up, girl,I think I’m going to throw up.

Cocuţa: They were handling poor them the situation how they could, to make us happy, they gave us what they had, because, back in the days, the McDonald’s was not yet invented in our country… U should hear, how stupid she can be, how stupid my sister Rita is, yeah how stupid! She doesn’t even resemble me. Sometimes I think that maybe she really is adopted, because of that she doesn’t even visit us anymore, because my parents didn’t buy her a stainless steel fridge with two doors and a water spring, that one which is really high up to the ceiling, because they didn’t want to be in debt anymore, with the banks.

Pitbull: Or maybe u are the adopted one… Did u ever ask urself that, darling?

Scooby: Leave me alone! I am really watching the series. What did she do now?

Pitbull: Shock us!

Cocuţa: She made, she has made a facebook account for the lil one. To rofl not something else.

Pitbull: She gave birth?! I didn’t know she gave birth.

Cocuţa: That’s the sketch she did not give birth yet,she has 4 or 5 months more until she does,but she made a facebook account for her baby,in a preventive way, just to be there, her spot to be ocuppied. You don’t know my sis, she is the spitting image of my dad. When something gets in her head, that is it.Twice a hacker deleted the profile, but she didn’t give up… She already put at the avatar the x-ray with the small one in position… It already has 2.349 friends and another 1.000 friend requests to which she was not able yet to respond.

Scooby: So cool! Born or unborn?

Pitbull: Seriously? I only have 721, from which to 700 I almost begged for their friendship! Even my parents they are not related with me anymore, they are my friends.

Cocuţa: This is because the world already knows who you are, because you are an out of date salami.

Pitbull: Wht?! (a shy knocking at the door)

Scooby (iritated): DND! DND! DND!

Pitbull: What’s the deal with your mother?! Did u go crazy?! Why do you rush her like that? She looks like a nice woman. Good, as the bread of God. If I talked with my parents like that… (he caresses his cheek unvoluntarily)

Scooby: What do u hav to do, “left handed”, with my “family”?

Pitbull: Nothing, Scooby, but it is not nice u know, it is still your biological mom,the one who gave life to u and who carried u like a stone in her belly. Blood of her blood, flesh of her flesh, milk of her milk.

Cocuţa: Mistake of her mistakes!

Scooby: Hm! She didn’t have milk because she is barren.A bigger one pumped her out earlier. I was fed with Robebi and Milupa… „La maman et la putain!“

Cocuţa: Whaat?! We smoked as well, but we did not smoke our brains. Did u take anything else before? Tell us, did u take anything else before? How many other did you smoke? The guy from the “flowershop” warned us not to mix them with anything else, because otherwise we will be fucked.

Scooby: „La maman et la putain!“

Cocuţa: Shut up! I didn’t go red for a long time, since my bra straps got ripped at the PE class. I’m sick of the stupid things u say.

Scooby: „La maman et la putain!“ „La maman et la putain!“ „La maman et la putain!“

Pitbull: Stop it, Scooby! Are u stupid or stupid-stupid?!

Scooby (yells and dances grotesque): „La maman et la putain!“ „La maman et la putain!“

Cocuţa: Stop it, u,with ur idiotic jokes! Out! That’s it, I’m done with the circus! I’m not coming anymore around here! (she stands on her feet so she can leave)

Scooby: Sit down! Out of here, nobody leaves with questions! Sit down!!! Sit down!!! Maman, I know u heard everything, come in!

Pitbull and Cocuţa: We kiss your hand, mam, Scooby’s mom!

Scooby’s Mother: Sorry.I made some nescafe with coke.

Scooby: Sit down here on the armchair. Here, Mrs. Georgescu. Isn’t it right that u didn’t hear anything?

Scooby’s Mother (false): What should I have heard?!

Scooby: “Wisdom of the Earth”!... „La maman et la putain!“ „La maman et la putain!“

Scooby’s Mother (puts her hands over her ears): Why do you humiliate me, Martian? What will your friends think of me?

Scooby: They won’t think anything. They will find out. They will figure it out with the help of ur confessions filled with remorse. It was ur fault that my dad committed suicide when u ran away with his best friend, with Mr. Rǎdulescu from the forth floor, to caress each other without anyone seeing you at  Caransebeş… it wasn’t enough for u anymore dad’s tool…

Scooby’s Mother: Shut up, Martian, it is not true! Who put inside your head this nonsense?! Only the bitch of your grandmother, because her son didn’t get married with who she wanted… Everything was a stupid accident, get this inside your head, all this rude nonsense, because she did not like me from the start, he slipped in front of the escalator… This was the conclusion of the prosecution as well. I suffered enough because of gossips. You kill me… Stop it, Martian, stop it already!

Scooby (sadistic): Why did u leave me , u bitch,without a father? Why? Swear, that it wasn’t like this, swear it!

Pause.

Scooby: „La maman et la putain!“ „La maman et la putain!“

Scooby’s Mother (wiping some invisible tears): You were too small. How would you have known what happened inside my heart? You have nowhere to get the truth out from. The entire truth.

Scooby: Tell this truth of urs here to everybody! To finish with this once and for all!

Pause.

Scooby’s Mother (bursts): Is this your payoff, Martian?! Nice! Nice!!! That is why I pay your internet every month 1 million and I walk around with holes in my shoes, for you to name me like that?! That is why I gave away my part of inheritance for, to get the most advanced PC of them all, the latest phone, for you to what?! For you not to be behind everybody and that  all the pupils with money who have to go for a second examination won’t laugh of you, for you to have your own thing, for you to be able to research for the Olympics without being in need to beg to others! That is where all your idiotic ideas come from, from Facebook! Yes, yes! I hope the guy who invented it burns in hell! Starting tomorrow, goodbye cable,goodbye Premium bundle!

Scooby: I don’t give a shit! It has been stated, maman, that u can live without Facebook and without internet, nobody died because of that, so u know. A bow with arrows is enough… All the boys from my class played foottie with their dads, drank their first beer with their dads, went fishing together with their dads, only I didn’t, no, no, no, no; why not me as well, why? Why did u not remain Mrs.Georgescu with fucked up charming Mr. Rǎdulescu there, in the shack filled with dampness from Caransebes and I to be left alone with my dad? Why?... Because of what?

Scooby’s Mother (stands on her feet): God forbid for you to love sometime someone and that someone not give a shit about your love, God forbid, Martian! I loved him like the holy Sun, that is why I ran after him! To me, Mr. Rǎdulescu was my half… That is what you wanted to hear, isn’t it?! I loved him!!! I loved him!!! I loved him so much! I still love him a lot now as well! I gave up my dignity for him,my dignity. If he made only a sign,a single snap of fingers, even now I would be ready to give up everything and go after him on the peak Omu, to the end of earth, to go all length… Why is it so hard to understand?! It doesn’t matter that he never loved me for a minute, that he did not give a shit about my pure love and played games with it! It doesn’t matter at all! At all!... What, don’t I have the right as well to be happy, only those duck lips who show up on tv? Only others?! What,don’t I have the right to love somebody with all my heart?! Don’t I?! Don’t I?! Where does it say this? Where, where, Martian? (cries involuntary with real tears)

 Scene 3

The Angels.

A huge room filled with white pc monitors on which angels with wings type phrenetically. From time to time, at irregular periods of time, they faint one after another  pulling reminiscent sounds of asphyxiation, but almost instantly, appear the vigilant  volunteer angels who clear the area and place immediately others on the spare chairs, fresh substitutes who take the relay along the way. In one corner,on a small improvised podium,a trio formed out of a quartet of five soloists without wings try to animate the dull atmosphere with refined Sicilian opera music.

Scene 4

Cocuţa.

Dark Angel ‘57: R u a virgo, Sailor Moon? R u sure u r a virgo?

Cocuţa: Relax, gringo! Giv me a valid email address and I will send u the signed and sealed certificate of an attending physician and a gynecologist; I also hav a video of the consultation, if u hav any other doubts…Okay?

Dark Angel ‘57: Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Sure? Sure??? Extraordinary,u really r a virgo at 16 years old?! Oh, my God, oh, my God! (splashes) Wht a bargain!I think u r the only real virgo I met on Facebook! Really?! If u only knew how much I looked for u... Tht’s it, it’s checked. It was missing from my collection, precisely one from south-east… I thought, I was convinced that, in all Europe, only the snotty ones from kindergarten  are still virgos... Good morning, Budapest! Good morning! What a relief that in Romania people still care about customs, the good customs. Give me your cam, Sailor Moon! ;)!

Cocuţa: Too soon. Out of nothing, everybody wants the cam. Your bank account and plane tickets first. Easy! Why r u such in a hurry, Dark Angel ‘57? Hello! U don’t know how to write, my friend; people don’t study there anymore? Did ur fingers get stuck on the bottle of whiskey? U only know how to use, how to grind your lil fingers in a totally different place?

Let’s take it easy.Let’s take it methodical. Tell me how u look like, Dark Angel ‘57? Do u have horns with pompons? I figured out tht about money there is no point in talking about, once you agreed to go with me over the chat. U read the conditions, the age of the buyer is not a major problem for me; so that you know, I accept until 70, I said that as well in the add, much older I don’t, no, because I’m not a necrophiliac...

You know that the auction starts from 25.000, that is for there won’t be any problem with the other clients, that is for u not to make me waste my time... All that go with me over the chat, are presumned to be interested to bid generously. You saw aready of course the significant gallery of nude pics.I’m waitng for u to outbid.

 Dark Angel ‘57: Which gallery of nude pics?!

The voice of a woman from the next room: Cocuţaaa... Cocuţaaa...

Dark Angel ’57 (out of phase): Not there where you are thinking about, pussy... Relax. Relax. Like an unhappy man, Sailor Moon, like a man.

Cocuţa: Hahaha :)))))! Hard to believe after ur ravishing nickname. Do u go to the gym?

Dark Angel ‘57: Hello! This nickname is just a prelude, pusy. How do u like to eat ur icecream? With or without whipped cream?... You?

Cocuţa (avoiding): Marilyn Monroe reincarnated, isn’t that clear to u, man? With a small difference regarding her: I have a small size to my shoes and a big one to my bra. Do u know what they say about those peasant nympho girls who have big feet...Let me guess, do u somehow have a big nose?

Dark Angel ‘57: Enough... Huge boss, huge nose! Enormous, baby! Enormous! Why, are you scared? Penetration is not such a painful thing as those idiotic books say. (out of phase) Somewhat... That’s odd, after the avatar pic and the cover one, I wouldn’t say that u look like Marilyn Monroe, more like Nana Mouskouri.

Cocuţa: What is so difficult to understand? I only impersonated a character, Dark Angel, a simple character, exactly like a model who provides a service.U did not want me to show myself exctly as I look in real life, with the dark red uniform from school and to risk of being expelled from all the colleges, to be excommunicated by the Romanian Orthodox church, to be pointed at by all the old ladies with the finger as the whore who negociated her virginity over the internet and all that. I thought you understood, man, that Romania cannot be, that Romania is not America, but it isn’t Africa as well, don’t take the will for the deed, don’t take at all the will for the deed.

The voice of a woman from the next room: Cocuţaaa... Cocuţaaa... It burns… I cannot take it anymore… It’s burning me... I’m thirsty... Call the ambulance...

Cocuţa: It’s not coming anymore, grandma, no ambulance, I am the ambulance; u know what the doctors said when they  discharged u… Rest, rest & again rest, this is the only remedy, if you want to get better.  

The voice of a woman from the next room: Give me another shot of morphine... please... only one... Cocuţa... Cocuţaaa...

Cocuţa: I already gave u three since this morning, do u want to end up dead? Be quiet, try to fall asleep! (coming back to Dark Angel ’57, faking the interest) Don’t u like Nana Mouskouri?... Aquiline nose?

Dark Angel ‘57: A lil bit too chicky... “ Lecherous” does it say anything to you? I’m already horny, why don’t u want to send me the cam, pussy? Please! Please!... Why r u such a bad girl, why don’t u want to?

Cocuţa: Because I don’t want u to splash me because of too much heath, because I put my lace umbrella in the drawer to feed the moth divisions stationed there... There is no reason for me to do it, why don’t u want to understand, why is it so hard to understand? If I had a reason, I wouldn’t be here today talking to u, but to Brad Pitt… The nude pics aren’t enough for u?

Dark Angel ‘57: What sort of joke is that? Which nude pics, Sailor Moon, which nude pics?! I am already super horny, I am about to explode, I am about to fill all the Milky Way with my manhood, the entire galaxy…MILKY WAY, I’m gonna erupt!!!... I’m gonna erupt!!!...I would have preferred, however, beside the one in which the doctors search u through like a piece of meat, a lil video in which u do a bit of gymnastics like Nadia Comăneci in the floor exercise… (gasps strange) I love you Romania!!!...  I love you Romania!!!... Good Afternoon, Budapest!

Cocuţa: Ha-ha! If u loved it like u said, u wouldn’t have jumped on it like a horny goat, u wouldn’t have put ur tool inside it, since the first second. What can I say, u luv it, my ass, u don’t even know its capital... My country doesn’t need sex, my friend, because of that it have had enough, it never lacked that, because everybody offered themselves, some more than the others; it needs luv, man. Luv, luv, luv! All u need is luv!... To luv someone first u need to know him/her. This is the zero point. This is the G point… What do u know, Dark Angel, about Romania?

Dark Angel ’57 (with an accent): G Point?! Fuck! Fuck! Everything baby, everything, absolutly everything: palinca, Gipsy Kings, Nadia Comăneci, Ilie Năstase, Dracula, Hagi, Alexandra Stan, Soros, whip shit! I also know that, after the Russian women, the Romanian ones are the most beautiful ones from the world.

Cocuţa: Ha! And our primary product for export, man. What will it be for us to stop pretending, “Lucifer”. Without this Romanian women which u like so much to talk about, ur upside down ass world would look exactly, but exactly how it already is. Big, ugly, vibrant and stinky… Let me be! What, u did not know?!... U have it,right?U have it or u don’t? Are we doing the business?

Dark Angel ‘57: We are doing it. I wouldn’t risk for anything in the world to lose a virgin meat like urs. I heard that Romanian girls are very gd in bed, much better than the Russian ones. Number one! I have to check on my own the missile defence shield, all the strategic positions, all these statements which came from unverified sources.

Cocuţa: O-ho-ho, Lucifer! The stake is gonna be risen. Are u bidding or what? How much?

Dark Angel ‘57: How old did u say u were?

Cocuţa: Isn’t it written there?! 16 years old!!! You won’t risk to go to jail, because it is with my express approval. I will state that even in writting, at the notary. Do u want my bank account details?

Dark Angel ’57 (out of phase): Yes, but I would have preferred to hear it from u, like real talking, Sailor Moon. You are a bit expensive when it comes to talking, for the money u ask. Time is money, pussy!

Cocuţa:It is just an impression. Time is life, dick!

The voice of a woman from the next room: Bring me a glass of water, Cocuţa... I cannot take it anymore… I’m thirsty... it burns a lot...

Cocuţa: (covering the microphone) I already gave u that, 10 mins ago. U already drank two barrels. Do u want to piss yourself again like an artificial water fountain up to the pendant lamp? (screams) You drive me crazy. The priest is gonna sing to me first Cucurrucucu-Cucurrucucu. All of your things, all of them, are out on the dryer, grandma, all of them, believe me. There are no money left for the pampers… I don’t have any clothes to change u again!

The voice of a woman from the next room: You don’t love me… Call Mircea, he will understand me… he will bring me water…

Cocuţa (making an effort to control hesrself): Grandma, I explained to u a million times now, uncle Mircea died three year ago in Irak. U were the one who even prepared the coliva for the funeral. Do an effort of imagination, for u not to lose all contact with reality … Look, drink, please, this cup of tea. Like the doctors recommended to u: tea. Tea, tea, tea, from Mihai’s garden!

The voice of a woman from the next room: It’s bitter, I don’t like it. Brrr! I know you want to poison me, to get rid of me once and for all and to fool around with all the punks… Waterrr!!!

Cocuţa: Why do u wrong me, grandma? U already know that u are the only remaining dearest relative… Why r u acting crazy? Why?

Dark Angel ‘57: Hello! Hello!

The voice of a woman from the next room: You are an evil girl! You bitch! You talk all day, like a skank, with all the punks who giggle on your small tv, which you carry in your purse and you don’t give a damn to bring me a glass of water while I’m lying in bed...

Cocuţa: I work! I work, I don’t mess around like others! In this house someone has to work. U don’t help me with anything. With anything. I want to save some money for ur surgery from Vienna, don’t u understand?

The voice of a woman from the next room: You are really fucked up, Cocuţo,but really bad, who do you resemble with… How long I was healthy, I wasn’t able to go further than Giurgiu; and now, when I am about to die, one like me won’t get to see foreign lands… Where are you going to get those big bags of money for the surgery?! Because no one today gives you anything for nothing… Water... It burns so much... I cannot take it anymore... Jesus Christ and Holy Mary, help me to die faster, don’t let me suffer, don’t let me make anyone else suffer!... God!... Cocuţaaa, lift my pillow... let’s go to the seaside, at Nǎvodari, like we used to, when you were little; there is so much water, there is so much chill…

Dark Angel ‘57: Hello! Hello! Sailor Moon?! Wht r u doing? R u still there?

Cocuţa: We’re gonna go, why not, wait for the satellite to land on our block of flats…

Dark Angel ‘57: I have the impression that u are talking at the same time with someone else.

Cocuţa: I am glad that you noticed that… U think u are the only one who is interested?

Dark Angel ‘57: Okay! Okay! Tell me, wouldn’t u want better for us to get married, wouldn’t that tempt u?

Cocuţa: What then for u to fuck me for free and then kick me in the ass? Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah! Where did that come from?! I’m not interested. What sort of business is this one?

Dark Angel ‘57: U, Romanian girls, are very pragmatic. Even the slick Butler swallowed your bait. Strong nation!

Cocuţa: When the first woman with millions and breast implants from your country will come to take as a husband a poor guy from my country, one of those poor guys who work twelve hours with the bevelled washers, one of those who break their bones working with the pickaxe for a slice of Bologna sausage, then we will trully be a strong nation, until then we won’t… At least it is good that we finished with the first stage, with those crappy phases from the beginning, with the traditional dances from the airport, with the salt and bread from the plate brought under your nose, straight to the plane’s stair. We start to resemble you…     “What are u gonna give me for me to give you?” Equality, isn’t that what u wished for?

Dark Angel ‘57: Ah, this stupid consumerism. Fuck, fuck, fuck! I wanna see u, pussy! MILKY WAY, I’m gonna come!!!... I’m gonna come!!!... I want to... I’m gonna come!!!... I’m gonna come!!!... I’m uber horny! Do you get that? I can’t take it anymore!

Cocuţa: Did you see the gallery of nude pics which I posted. Free of charge. That is enough for a start.

Dark Angel ‘57: What gallery do u keep talking about?! Which nude pics?!

Cocuţa: Ah! Again the bloody hacker… I’m gonna solve this! It uploads pretty hard. In about 15 minutes it will be solved, u will have them all. Give me a valid email... Did you somehow say a sum because I did not pay so much attention? No? Not yet?! Then, hold down your horses, stay at the cue or let the others in the front. I already have someone else by my side who cannot take it anymore, who is on the last mile... (out of phase) We did not invent it. Do you want or not my bank account?

Dark Angel ‘57: I’ll pay anything.Tell me a reasonable price.

Cocuţa: Of course. We are starting to clear ourselves. How much does it cost? Let’s say, your little car?

Dark Angel ‘57: Which one of them?

Cocuţa: I don’t know. The last one. The one u care about more. The sport one .

Dark Angel ‘57: While we are talking, 200-250.000, I believe, but I am not very sure, maybe even more.

Cocuţa: How much would u be able to offer for my virginity, Dark Angel? How much r u thinking about? I suppose u already have a price in your head atm, isn’t it ?

Dark Angel ‘57: You play rough, Sailor Moon. 30.000 with extension, maximum 35.000. In how many years would you be able to save that, there in your country? It is an amazing sum, isn’t it, baby?

Cocuţa: Don’t be ridiculous. I do not need incredible sums, I need 150.000 sharp, that’s how much I need.

A pause unbelievably relaxed.

Dark Angel ‘57: Baby, baby, baby, baby! Easy! I like the fact that u have the sense of humor very developed. Do u hav somehow, on the side, some lil sis? Be it! I will make a bundle offer! (with an easy tint of nervousness) The last price is 40.000, let’s say 45. Maximum. That is because I am not used to be denied, that is because I hav never lost an auction before… With this amount of money I would have found in Taiwan for my collection ten girls of ten years old max; ten, understand?... Are we gonna shake  hands, pussy?

Cocuţa: Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Go to hell, you creep, with your crumbs and everything! I need exactly 150.000, that’s how much I need for my grandma… Go to Hell!

Dark Angel ‘57: What?!

Cocuţa: Fuck ur mom! Understand? Fuck ur mom!

Scene 5

The Angels.

A huge room filled with white pc monitors on which angels with wings type phrenetically. From time to time, at irregular periods of time, they faint one after another  pulling reminiscent sounds of asphyxiation, but almost instantly, appear the vigilant  volunteer angels who clear the area and place immediately others on the spare chairs, fresh substitutes who take the relay along the way. In one corner, on a small improvised podium,a trio formed out of a quartet of five soloists without wings try to animate the dull atmosphere with refined Sicilian opera music.

Scene 6

Pitbull.

Pitbull from Facebook: Do u know how powerful u r?

Pitbull: Wtf?!...

Pitbull from Facebook: Do u have a mini idea about how powerful u r?

Pitbull: Wtf are you doing in my friends’ list?! Ha? I do not remember to have had confirmed your friendship in any way... Why did u get in, old man?! How did you get in?! When did you get in?!... Hear this,if u are one of those who want to give me hate comments, to screw my pc and to delete the sketches I worked so much for, I will fuck you.! I will fuck you. With all your kind! Did u understand? I am tired to keep reinstalling the windows, to figth four legged, to start crusades after crusades with all the shitty viruses... I am talking to u, sucker! Wtf do u want? Wtf are u doing on my page?

Pitbull from Facebook: Easy! I just want to talk to u, “artist”. That and nothing else… Do u have a clue,do u have an idea of how powerful u r?

Pitbull (disarmed): I don’t have any idea about what power is! Why would I lie to u that I have? I don’t.

Pitbull from Facebook: Can u tell me? How did u figure that out?

Pitbull: Easy, old man, easy. To impress Ramo from the tenth floor, some months ago, I tried to train myself with an old stretcher with rubber bands which I found in my dad’s tool box, because my t-shirt looked too weird on my skinny chest… and that’s how I got a beautiful black right eye, like the size of a tomato jar of 800 grams… That is not I think, that was not power, you say it, isn’t it? As a consequence, I did not get out of the house for a week (so that I won’t be needed to answer all sort of stupid questions like ”Who fucked u now, Pitbull?”) and that is when I read the third book without covers and pics from my entire life (the first two, I will not talk about them because there was written no author on them). The handbook of the rat by Celnocov, edition 1949, that is how the book was called. It did not have all the pages, but I understood everything. Everything. It was written in everybody’s language, in a simple and expressive language, without figures of speech, handy for everybody. It is very, veeery interesting,I will recommend it warmfully to u and if u want to find out my honest opinion about it – the job which it talks about is very present, very wealthy even nowadays.

Pitbull from Facebook: Power! Power! In ur suffering, in your weakness lies the power.

Pitbull: Of who? Put it down cuz it starts to quak… After that, because the black thing got stubborn to extend until my ears, followed a captivating best-seller of the 80’s: The book of the crane operator and of the interpreted mechanic by Antonov, Davidescu and Preda… To operate any type of crane it is very easy, u have a few buttons there, not such a big deal, four buttons: up, down, right, left. I read it six times...

And because that stupid bruise won’t pass, I tried, like my non-literate aunt Cecilia taught me, to cut a red woody cabbage from the supermarket, in half, to pass it through the big salt and to put it on my opened eye. How long do u think it took me for this sort of operation? Hark, hark, hark, hark! Hark, hark, hark, hark! About half an hour of afflict with the hacksaw... Very veiny, it wasn’t Romanian, as if they would have stuffed it with the compactor… Half of day I was so sick that I lied with my eyes looking at the ceiling and with compresses on my eyes and I was terribly tired.. This is not power, it doesn’t look like power yet, right? What do u say?

Pitbull from Facebook: Yeah, irrelevant experiences, alter ego! U have no idea about how powerful u r, about how u make urself useful. None of those. Power-power-power! (mechanical) If you succeed to put forth in the same direction all ur 600 muscles of ur body you could lift a weight of at least 20-25 tons, meaning a lorry filled with bulls.

Pitbull: Fuck me!!! Who, me?! Come on that’s too, too much. I tried once, but I had to run fast-fast to the toilet. I almost missed by one centimeter the entrance of the door... I hardly can carry an empty luggage to the East train station... R u insane?! Where the fuck do u get all this nonsense from?

Pitbull from Facebook (mechanical): Every individual who got to the centenary spends six years dreaming absolutely for nothing. What a waste of imagination, it is like we would put a sprinkler, to irrigate heavily, a swamp!

Pitbull: Did someone from my block of flats complained, Pitbull from Facebook? Someone complained, isn’t it? That bitch of Ramona must have been, since I broke up with her... What’s the trick, man? Take me easy... Let me get this straight, it means that until this age I have dreamt non-stop for at least twelve months?

Pitbull from Facebook: U are starting to figure it out… One year, young Bavarian, imagine it, an entire year and you did not do anything to make urself useful... (mechanical) A fake orgasm burns 300 calories, areal one three times less.

Pitbull: Tiii! Only now I figured out why my mom is so skinny, like a tiny fish... my sis on the other hand keeps bloating, she bloats like a second flood... Whenever they announce beached whales on tv, my poor brother in law comes quick in the bedroom with a hook...

Pitbull from Facebook: Yeah, but her husband, meaning ur brother in law, keeps shrinking if you did not notice. The law of compensation. Remember how he looked in the pics from the wedding, look at what’s left of him today, a poor plank with a jacket, a leftover among the teeth of a shark. Soon he will get to look like a germ, and ur sis like Jupiter... Believe me. Not even the most powerful males can sneeze with their eyes open. The only animals who can still have sex while looking at each other are the humans who mime the good faith... U already knew this, isn’t it? If they didn’t hate each other enough, it would be for them almost impossible.

Pitbull: Just a sec! Let me open Word. I’m really gonna write this down to tell to the gang. Although u say we have the same name, u r so smart that u don’t look anything like me. U overtake me.

Pitbull from Facebook: Yeah right, Pitbull, we are alike, only that I am Pitbull from Facebook... Absolutely, but absolutely, all babies hav blue eyes when they r born.

Pitbull: Ha?! Yeah?! I didn’t know. I have remained constant to the first option. Besides, the only valid one for me.

Pitbull from Facebook:Stillness in a project is a sign of stupidity... Cioran or Noica?

Pitbull: ...Bingo! Mother Leone! U take the prize in my place.

Pitbull from Facebook (thundering): WHY DON’T U DO, MAN, WHY DON’T U DO SOMETHING PALPABLE, SOMETHING PLAUSIBLE FOR THIS COUNTRY WHICH IS SINKING?

Pitbull: Ooops, the problem starts to stink… So this is where u wanted to get, old man!

Pitbull de pe Facebook: Create something, do something, man, until everything goes to ruins!

Pitbull: What should we do? We are too lil! We let the bigger ones, the ones who have jeeps, to overthrow mountains, to fracture rocks, to show us the rainbow which bursts like a drill from their puke...  Do u hear them? They already started with good cheer the demolition. Our generation is only at the beginning, they just started learning how to wipe their ass with a meal ticket…

Pitbull from Facebook: I see. I see u. They still sleep like a log. They still say at lunch: “Good morning! When I see u, I feel sick!” You walk all the time like zombies with a coke in one hand and with the eyes not that wide open… Power-power-power! Do u have any idea, do u realize how powerful u r?

Pitbull: U are starting to become naggy. I don’t have it bro, I don’t have it! Where the fuck should I have it from?

Pitbull from Facebook: Tv, tv, tv, tv, tv! All day long u ruin ur sight watching tv, being on the phone, being on the pc, being on Facebook...

Pitbull: Take it easy, I know the drill! My parents say the same thing. And what’s the harm in that? Are we doing something wrong? Are we killing someone?

Pitbull from Facebook: Gather your friends and do something good for ur country, for this nation, something exemplary! U have the moral duty towards ur predecessors.

Pitbull: Bleah! You sound like my history teacher who gets beaten at home by the wife with the roller filled of polenta… I have power, my arse!

Pitbull from Facebook: Do something, Pitbull! Anything, only do something which is significant, which is gonna trigger ur confused generation. Something that will change things for good. Gather ur friends.

Pitbull: To have a beer? To have that sort of cig?!

Pitbull from Facebook: Ha-ha-ha! Good one! Ttt!

Pitbull: Ahhhh! Are you talking about the 721 friends?

Pitbull from Facebook: Those are friends only by name, they r not real. Gather ur friends.

Pitbull: But they sum up the numbers there… Doesn’t it count?

Pitbull from Facebook: How does that help u? How many real friends do u really have, Pitbull? Be honest! Admit it. Can u tell me, can u answer me?

Pitbull: Two.One is Scooby and the other is Cocuţa. These two. These are the friends I count on.

Pitbull from Facebook: U forgot one more, but of course I forgive u, but I won’t forget about this when Christmas comes… It is good that u are starting to recover. Take the friends u are counting on and try to do something that will awake everybody else. Something of national impact. Change something in this country until it will get empty of its brilliant brains.

Pitbull: ???

Pitbull from Facebook: Are u still good at drawing? Do u still want to go to monumental arts?

Pitbull: How do u know? Where did u find out?

Pitbull from Facebook: What do u mean where did I find out? From the Holy Facebook. Didn’t u put all ur memories, all ur thoughts, all your diary, all your life there like in a fish tank, for everybody to know u like their own pocket? Isn’t that clear? Take ur friends immediately, fill ur backpacks with sprays and draw the face of Gafencu on the roof of the BNR building. A huge graffiti which will shake the conscience of everybody…

Pitbull: Which Gafencu?!

Pitbull from Facebook: Valeriu. The saint of the prisons. Search it on Google and u will find out everything about him. Power! This country needs u, do u understand?

Pitbull (while typing): I feel like I want to step with my feet on this country. All of my feet.

Pitbull from Facebook: This is because u don’t consider it ur country. Start and do something for it lad and u will see soon enough that u won’t feel like stepping on it so easily.

Pitbull: (enlightened) Aww, this is big, pardon, it was big, the lad was cool, because I understood that he died because of the stinky comunists!... Were u saying something about the BNR roof?

Pitbull from Facebook: Which was ur biggest work till present time?

Pitbull: The one with Ramo. The arrangements took a lot of time, sorta two years, but I was going emotional out of nothing. I thought I was gonna start a secure investment, but in fact it was only a capital repair. I didn’t go further… She got herself intensely ready with others as well. In an organized way. In a gang.

Pitbull from Facebook: I wasn’t talking about “intrigues”…

Pitbull: Ahhh! Do u refer to sketches? A nude of 60x60 which I cared about, a lot, but which I don’t have anymore. I took it to the bin when… oh well, stuff…

Pitbull from Facebook: 60x60?! I suppose we are talking about centimeters. Do u know how many square metres has the BNR roof?

Pitbull: I can only imagine. As much as a football field. Maybe more?

Pitbull from Facebook: What do u say, are u in?

Pitbull: It’s a bit dangerous, and then, how the fuck are we gonna climb up there?

Pitbull from Facebook: DO U HAVE ANY CLUE, DO U HAVE ANY IDEA ABOUT HOW POWERFUL U ARE?

Pitbull: I will never succeed to strain in the same direction all my 600 muscles of which I dispose and become an elevator, like u suggest, no matter how hard I try.

Pitbull from Facebook: Everything happens for a reason in life, alter ego, even Facebook! Ur generation needs powerful models, not Facebook! Give a warning! A powerful one! Power! Of putting it forth, we will deal with it, ur unknown friends.

Pitbull: What do u wanna say?

Pitbull from Facebook: “The book of the crane operator and of the interpreted mechanic” by Antonov, Davidescu and Preda

Pitbull: What?!

Pitbull from Facebook: “The book of the crane operator and of the interpreted mechanic”

Pitbull: What?!

Pitbull from Facebook: The west side of the BNR is in restoration… There is an entire site filled of materials and equipment, so full, what is so hard to understand, Pitbull?

Pitbull: Aha…

Pitbull from Facebook: Wait, do not sign out! Who is the best friend of Pitbull?

Pitbull: Pitbull from Facebook! That’s a fact!

Scene 7

The Angels.

A huge room filled with white pc monitors on which angels with wings type phrenetically. From time to time, at irregular periods of time, they faint one after another  pulling reminiscent sounds of asphyxiation, but almost instantly, appear the vigilant  volunteer angels who clear the area and place immediately others on the spare chairs, fresh substitutes who take the relay along the way. In one corner, on a small improvised podium, a trio formed out of a quartet of five soloists without wings try to animate the dull atmosphere with refined Sicilian opera music.

Scene 8

The gang.

Scooby: Stop looking down, stop looking down or it will make u dizzy… Why did u freeze?

Cocuţa: Boss, do u see those two flags there in front? Those, one next to each other.

Scooby: And?

Cocuţa: I don’t understand, give me a reasonable explanation, a Physics one. Why our flag stands floopy like a kitchen cloth while the European Union one flaps high and mighty, nearly taking flight from the mast?

Scooby: It could have something, like a fireplace bellow, how the fuck should I know?

Cocuţa: Come on, give me a break… And ours, why, why shouldn’t it have a fireplace blower? What, don’t we have the face to get a fireplace blower; so what, are we more stupid?

Scooby: How the fuck should I know if it has or if it doesn’t have, I am not  the center of the universe. Maybe it is some sort of a flow thing.

Cocuţa: What sort of stuff! Oi’, gang, oi’, do u see what I see?

Pitbull: Again?! Sst! Sst! Don’t u get ur hoods off, cuz in case of some hidden cams, we are fucked!

Scooby: Ahhh! Fuck me! I cut myself in that type of turned rusty tin!

Pitbull: Wtf can u see with this darkness? Can’t u see that ur sticking ur fingers into my eyes?

Scooby: In what sort of of shit with teeth did u got ourselves into, man… How are we supposed to do this huge Gafencu graffiti without even seeing?

Pitbull: Did we not establish this already, oi’, did we not establish it? Come on, oi’! I get the hard part always. I already did the outlines, u just need to fill them in, the shades, and that’s it. The rest is my job. Be thrifty, for the tubes to last us… In max four hours we need to have everything done, did u understand?

Cocuţa: Do u see them? Get, get ur infrared phone and take a pic quickly, otherwise no one will believe us.

Scooby: Do u think I’m in the mood for a shooting?

Pitbull: Sst! Sst! U r unbelievable guys. U think u r at the swimming pool.

Cocuţa: What is there to believe, that we were on the BNR roof? When we were gonna call the guys from Guiness Book to get the measurements, they will have to believe us, they will have no choice.

Scooby: That will happen if our folks will give  their approval for that.

Pitbull: What are u saying, as if we needed any approval when we got ourselves into this without anyobody knowing, getting with the crane until here? Well, whose interest is it?

Scooby: The whole thing is that we shouldn’t get expeled, otherwise we are fucked… Do u think Gafencu was the best choice?

Pitbull: Yeah. He is very easy to stylize. He has very clear features.

Scooby: No I’m not referring to that. Some say he was a saint, others that he was a legionary. This is his print from now on. What if he gets back in business, like at Tg. Ocna, Ellie Wiesel Institute? Who gave u this supid idea? Wouldn’t it have been better, Iorga? Wouldn’t it have been better Horea, Cloşca and Crişan? These poor fellows are not challenged by anyone.

Pitbull: Why should we change our mind now? What, would u have wanted us to draw Mickey Mouse flying a F16? Did u want us to risk our lives for some camomile flowers or for some hearts with arrows? Sst!

Cocuţa: Oi’, fuck me, do u see or not those freaks, long haired fellows crowded in the corner who are singing acapella?

Scooby (calm): Yeah, they are some apter angels, very trendy, wearing some worn jeans! And what about it? We have our things, they have their things. Everybody must earn their own bread.

Cocuţa: Apters?!

Scooby: Meaning without wings, highschool! Aptero Angels!

Cocuţa: Is it gd or bad?

Pitbull: I can’t tell from here if they are lads or lassies… Are they Catholic angels or Orthodox ones?

Cocuţa: Oi’, Pitbull, u might be talented for drawing, u might be some unrecognized genius, but u r some irrecoverable morron, I swear it on my cross, that’s why all the retards fool u. The religions are on earth, not in heaven. These are the angels of angels. Before the schism. Originals. Really.They sing better than the Madrigal. It’s a pity they don’t participate to competitions, because they would surpass many.

Pitbull: Do you think,we should tell them something, shake hands with them, congratulate them? I heard that, they are the ones, who give the reports there,up there where they need to give them… Otherwise, they might think of us of not being well educated.

Scooby: Don’t u somehow want, Michelangelo, autographs from them as well? Ignore them. What can we say to them, because we didn’t come to exchange experiences, can’t u see that we r running out of time? They might have come for a fund raising for an orphanage or who knows, maybe they are filming a video for Lady Gaga. I heard that the girl pays good money. Each of us with his job.Come on! Get up cuz we have work to do upstairs!

Pitbull: Get the white sprays out of the backpacks! (they are blinded by a powerful spotlight)

Pause.

Cocuţa: Literally: I f… a horse on his d… boys!

Pause.

The megaphone: Which are ur demands, which are ur demands?

Pause.

Cocuţa (in whisper): They caught us! I told u that they must have movement sensors on the roof as well, that’s why it is called BNR and not consignment of chewing gums… What shall we tell them, that we want to save the dolphins from the Black Sea?

Scooby: Sst! Let me think!

Pitbull: Originality is not one of your strenghts, Cocuţo. We have to ask for something, otherwise they r going to lock us up in an asylum until the end of time.

The megaphone: Our negociator is on the way. It is a matter of some couple of minutes. Please, do not make any impulsive moves. Because of the repairs, the roof is very slippery.

Cocuţa: Oi’, these lads cannot see the angels, are they racist? Why aren’t they picking on them as well? Why r they talking only with us and not with them?!

Scooby: Not everybody who has eyes can see the angels. Not everybody who has ears can hear them… Look, do u see the tall one with olive skin. He is the spitting image of my dad, Ahmed.

Pitbull: The spitting image of ur dad?... The one who is playing the drums without having hands and legs?!

Scooby: Yeah, because he was Ugandan... and so u know the Ugandans…

Pitbull: I thought u said he died, that he threw himself in front of...

Scooby: Sst! This one is too white. I didn’t say that angel is my dad, only that he is his spitting image.

Cocuţa: R we going to stay longer here, looking like stupid, because my legs started to shake?

Scooby: We are waiting for the negociator… It is a thing of mins, did u not hear that?

Cocuţa: So what, did we come here to negociate? We came here to make an artistic act, a cultural manifesto!

Pitbull (not even him being convinced of it): We came to promote the Saint of Prisons, the Great Valeriu Gafencu, to make him known to all the others who did not... is that not the thing that we came for?...

Cocuţa: Until their negociator comes, until they get him out of his bed, until they tie up his tie, until they button his fly, let us say something to them so that they won’t think about us that we are some sort of idiots from some kind of construction highschool having the graduation percentage very low.

Pitbull: Exactly, we should say to them something super smart; but what should we say to them if we haven’t got anything to say?

Scooby: Gang! (they all gather one next to the other and they start whispering for a couple of minutes until it looks like they have agreed on something)

The megaphone: Children! Please, do not make any thoughtless gestures. The firefighters truck with extendable ladder is on it’s way. The tin is very, but very slippery. Wait for the negociators, wait for the extendable ladder.

Cocuţa: Until present time they were talking only about one, now I see they have multiplied.

Scooby: Never in my life did I have waited the encounter with a ladder, be it a long one as well.

The megaphone: We all know you very well! We have been following you for two years! You have been attentively monitorized by our special squad! Do not make any thoughtless gestures, so that we won’t be obliged to intervene with force! Did you understand?

Pitbull: Did u hear tht,they know me. Odd! I did not succeed that myself until now... Let’s tell them! Should we tell it to them?

All three (on a Sunday): We are a generation. Do not judge us. Think about it!

The megaphone: No sudden moves!!! You children, you, put some reason in your heads! You saw what sort of disasters happen in other parts of the world! Do you want all the others to point at us with their middle finger? Did you see what is going on in Egypt! Did u see what is happening in Ukraine! Do you want us to lose the last frightened tourists who visit us?

Scooby’s mother: (desperate,on the megaphone): Martian, momma’s boy, what has come into you all of a sudden to start doing nonsense? You, who used to tell me all of your secrets like to a real friend, you…Who upset you?I told you not to go out anymore with those two punks because they will lead you to ruin, I told you to stop smoking all that shit from the corner of the street…You, the Olympic of the school, look what is left of you if you did not listen to me. Get down immediately, if you ever want to come back home again! Martian, momma’s boy, do you hear me? Get down! Get down! Say something if you can hear me!

Scooby: „La maman et la putain!“ (with echo)

Pause.

The megaphone: This is not a demand. This is a conclusion. A bad one, of course… In all our customs, the mother is considered a real saint! (improvising) “Oh mother, gentle, mother,/ From tempestuous times,/ From crowded rustles,/ You cast me out and then you call me back again!”… What do you want from us, you, confused boy? Why did you climb until there? Do you know at least what do you want?

Scooby: Of course. I want to marry the Romanian teacher, with Lorena Ghivirigă, but I don’t want you to dismiss her from education because of that…so that we have money to raise our child until I get a job as well.

The megaphone: Who doesn’t allow you? I? I have nothing against it. I am as well a father of boys. Get married, you lad, if you cannot abstain to be in the bathroom on your own anymore, if this is what you want with all your gut... if the pro…wants as well, sorry, if she wants as well. The real problem is if she wants to as well…Are you sure she wants that? Are you definately sure she wants that?If you are sure she does, I will be your godfather!Think about it a bit more then give me an answer. A manly answer. You have five minutes…Next! What does the next one want?

Cocuţa (easy): Do you have 150.000 euros?

The megaphone: Of course! The ingots are right in the basement.We wil give you as many as you need! Two hundred, three hundred thousands, is that enough? Next!

Scooby: Oi’ guys, they are stalling us, they are up to something, can’t u see that they r taking us for fools, can’t you see that they are taking a piss at us!

The megaphone: Next on the list!

Pitbull: Who is next?

Scooby and Cocuţa: U!

Cocuţa: Be careful what u wish for because it might come true.

Scooby: I am not selfish like you are. I am realistic. I will ask them for a particular brand of roller skates for each and one of us, so that all the losers from Carol Park die of spite.

Cocuţa: Now u fully convinced me. U are really stupid, Pitbull!

The megaphone: Come on, it’s the presents month! The next one doesn’t really want anything?

Pitbull: Of course I do, securist motherfuckers! Stop going on with tricks for u to stall time until the snipers arrive, do not think we are stupid because we also saw American movies!We have our backpacks filled with explosives!U did not know this,did u?!If in 30 mins we do not have at our disposal a Puma helicopter and 50 million dollars,we blow up everything, did u hear that!Forward!(the two of them)Let’s tell them!

All three: WE ARE A GENERATION!DO NOT JUDGE US!THINK ABOUT IT!THINK ABOUT IT!(automatic gunfire shots)

Scene 9

The television.

Andreea Esca (in an alert way): Shock and terror on Lipscani street, nr. 25,at the central head office BNR from the capital!Only a few hours ago an unidentified armed group formed out of three youngsters from secondary school went on the roof of the BNR head office and threatened the police with the detonation of aprox.150 kg of explosive which was placed on their bodies.Their claims were very unclear and a few witnesses present at the terraces from the pubs in vicinity declared that they heard clearly the words:”We will never trully be a generation!Fear,do not think!We will judge all of you who try to think!

According to the information that we gathered until present time, the members of the gang were part of a wider terrorist group self-entitled The Apocalypse, group that was recruiting its members with the help of the well known socializing network Facebook and who seems it had as idols Horia, Cloşca şi Crişan, idols whose faces were traced with chalk by the attackers on the BNR roof…

“You do not negociate with the terorism! The purpose of this attack who has terrified the entire Bucharest remains for now, unknown”, as the spokesman of the Ministry of Internal Affairs declared, but unauthorized sources from the Ministry said that the youngsters were trying to create a diversion to try and get the attention of the guards while other terrorists already had succeeded to get inside the Hall of the Treasury... The residents from the centre of the capital can breathe relieved. Following the prompt intervention of special forces the group was annihilated! Latest sources clearly state that among the attackers was a young woman with severe personality disorders nicknamed Sailor Moon, sadly during the intervention of The Anti-Terrorist Brigade which is part of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, she was shot in the head. For more details,we will come back only in a few minutes alongside our special correspondent Catalin Radu Tanase who is already on the spot! And now to continue the news. Also in the Lipscani area there were observed paranormal phenomena which culminated in ...

The voice of a woman from the next room: Give me another morphine shot... Cocuţa... Cocuţaaa... Switch off once and for all that TV because you have been watching it like a desperate girl all night long or at least lower down the volume... Cocuţa, water… water... please… please… You are a bad girl! A bitch!... Cocuţaaa... It’s burning me… I cannot take it anymoreeee… It burns so bad... I’m thirsty... Call the ambulance... They don’t believe me anymore,they will believe you from the first call…

           

            The light switches off annoyingly slow, counterpoint the melody Cucurrucucu Paloma sang by the choir of apter angels dressed like mariachi.

C U R T A I N